Being Brown & Hating The Sun...?

I don't know what it is, but when summer comes around I just can't stand it.


When everyone else is lying in the sun, I'm hiding under a tree.
When everyone goes out I slap on factor 50 sun cream even though I don't burn.

It's just makes me laugh, 

surely being brown I should be this sun-kissed sun loving goddess??

 <3

But in reality I just hate being too hot.

I have a mixed background from hot, sunny places, yet I still think I'm not made to live in the sun!

My idea holiday would be skiing <3 

I love the snow, Christmas, cuddling on sofas and drinking hot chocolate!

Lying on the beach is okay... but I'd still just be hiding under an umbrella.

Have a feeling I'm just miserable?

Surely everyone is meant to love the sun....?

Who is responsible for your happiness?

This for me has been quite a difficult question to ask myself because someone with any sense would say:


"...well aren't i responsible for my happiness?"


Yes that is very true, but I said someone with sense, and being a female i feel sometimes we lack this common sense given to us. 


I myself have fallen into the trap of allowing others to dictate my happiness. my happens being determined by the attention given by others to myself.


Sounding familiar?


When someone tells you,  you look nice
When you get a random phone call out of the blue
When someone takes the time to see you


etc


This equates to happiness. && why wouldn't it? 
The kindness and attention, of your loved ones, friends and family of course would make you happy... but


On the other hand...


When someone tell you, you look fat
When you feel no body has time for you
When everyone is too busy to give you the attention you feel you need


etc


This equates to sadness.


&& I have learnt a valuable lesson. 


"...When you give away your happiness to others, you will always be disappointed because at the end of the day, we are only human. No one can make you happy all of the time."

Recently all the times I have been upset, is because I have allowed other to make me upset.
When you realize that only you have to power to make yourself unhappy then a lot of things suddenly seem irrelevant.


I love this quote I heard and adapted to how i feel and i am now determined to carry on with this quote in mind...

"...You are responsible of 95% of your happiness, allow others to "top up" the 5% but ultimately only you can allow yourself to feel truly happy!"

You know those days when everyone and everything is making you unhappy && you wish somebody would just make it all okay again?

look in that mirror!

ask yourself if you're okay!

watch all your favorite TV shows (mine being documentaries ^^) & the best part? no ones going to interrupt you and/or find what your watching boring!

read a book, do your hair, go running, start painting!

Do everything that makes you feel happy & never feel guilty about it.

When you come to the realization that only you can make yourself unhappy, then  all those that try to, are now irrelevant.

<3<3<3

what do you do that makes you feel better?

Nothing makes me happier than a good book or film, snuggling up in bed && just having time for me xx

To Maw or Not To Maw...That Is The Question?

hey everyone,

as you know I am not a beauty blogger as I wouldn't even know where to start with trying to talk about make up!

But there wasn't a lot of reviews about this company called "maw cosmetics" which i do buy from so I just did a quick youtube review!


But expect my next blog post to be far from make up!


Love you all x 

19 && Experiencing The Rat Race....?

ah the rat race. 

The term used by many people, describing the constantly cycle of getting up to work, to then eat, shower, sleep then go to work yet again. 

being a student, I'm somewhat sheltered from the everyday needs of going to work. Yes I don't get a lot of money from my student finance, but when i do get a job i normally just spent it on student things, going out, clothes etc

and who wouldn't? 

Being a student is the only time you get to be an adult and not have to worry about working all the time.

It however being the summer, && having 3 months of nothing to do, I decided to get a job at a posh establishment (mentioned in a previous blog post)

For 1 week i got to... Live && Breathe what many people would call the 

"rat race"

and you know what?

I hated it

waking up at 6am to get home for 7pm, to then eat, shower then pass out. I was so exhausted that by the time my head hit the pillow, it was time to wake up again and go back to work!

Now I'm in the position that, yeah the wages are rubbish but the money i earn i get to keep for myself. However if i actually had to pay for my uni rent, I would have to work 2weeks to just afford the rent.

Then i thought to myself...

When i finish my degree, & get a job, my life will consist of working to pay bills.  Because that's what "were meant to do right?"

On a final note...

Most of us have been brought up to go to school, get a degree and get a good job. 

We have always been told to get a good job "working for someone else"

Am i the only one that finds that concept slightly depressing?

I am not surprised many young women, aspire to be WAGS or marry rich men.

It sounds a lot glamorous then what they would have to do if they didn't have men with deep pockets.

Conclusion?

need to create a business (y)

do i have any idea how? 

not really.

dreaming about my own business is better than accepting a life working for someone else?

defiantly.

Does being "posh" make you "superior" ?

 Just a quick post because honestly... I am shattered.

I have a temp job for the week and due to a contract i signed

(-_- tell me about it)

 I can't say where I'm working, I can just say it's over run with posh stuck up people.

Now don't get me wrong...

I have nothing against rich or upper class people. If you were lucky enough to be born into money or talented enough to make a great deal of money thats great.

However I don't believe someone having money entitles them to think everybody else is "beneath them".

Here's 1 example...

Was at work today, in my uniform and a well dressed women with her well dressed friends SHOVED past me.

They saw me, I was in clear view, they however chose to push past me instead of saying "excuse me" or even "sorry" for elbowing past me!

I said to the girl working with me:

"How rude are they! They can't do that!"

To which she just replied:

"Well you do only work here"

That was just one not so bad example I chose to share as

there was too many examples i encountered today!

Am i just being fussy?

 If you work somewhere should you be expect customers to just be rude to you?

I do like going out and getting dressed up, it I go to a posh establishment then i expect a great service, however I don't assume i have to power to be "rude" to the people who work there simply because I'm "paying their wages".

Am i just being miserable?

Maybe I worked too long of a shift today :(





...Will You Marry Me?

I honestly feel sorry for guys these days. 
The whole romantic scene of getting down on one knee and proposing, seems to me to have suddenly just gone out of the window?


Don't get me wrong....

I want the traditional ring, get down on one knee etc 


But after looking at youtube and looking at the AMAZING ways men have asked their girlfriends to marry them (getting family and friends involved, fireworks, helicopter etc)


I'm a bit like "I WANT THAT TOOO"

Also how cool would it be if you meet a couple you don't like (probably a work collegue) and she's all smug and annoying and thinks she amazing at everything( I watch too many movies...) & she tries to brag about her engagement...

"well George got down on one knee, 4 carot diamond of course darrhhhlliinnngg"
"oh really, he just got down on one knee?"
"well yes... George is a tradional man"
"Yes, so is my fiancee but when HE proposed he (INSERT AMAZING PROPOSAL)"
"oh well... that sounds charming *annoyed/jealous face*"
"*smug/gutted at you face*"

fin.


ALL I'M SAYING it would be pretty amazing.
&& I do like the idea of your man spending a lot of time planning how he's going to propose.


<3 ah getting married
The best part of being married is the getting married part....
I assume after that it's a bit more er boring ...

Nandos, not the best first date spot...?

Before I start, I have not been endorsed by Nandos to do a blog about the restaurant.
(EVEN THOUGH I would love if they did endorse me... I love that place :( )

Nandos = Chicken Restaurant

My Nandos Dream = To have a Nandos Black Card

Nandos Black Card  = Unlimited Free Nandos Chicken

I think we get the picture that i love Nandos? <3

ANYWAY...

A lot of couples go to restaurants for their first date...

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF... :/

To start off with, it is hard to look sexy, come across charming and interesting AND not spill food down yourself. 

Also I enjoy eating, I enjoy eating and talking. However trying to impress someone at the same time just takes away the fun of eating out.. as well as the general worries of...


Have I got something stuck in my teeth?
Does my breath now smell like garlic?
And are we not talking because were busy eating?... Or do we just have nothing in common?


How does Nando's come into it?


After being with my boyfriend for over a year, we now accept each others eating habits and don't care if we go to a restaurant and someone has chicken in their teeth (me) or that someone eats a whole chicken by himself in 15minutes, with his hands (my boyfriend)

HOWEVER --> I came across the most awkward sight in Nandos, a couple on their first date.

It was horrible, the poor girl couldn't eat her chicken because she was worried about getting food stuck in her mouth

The guy was asking the most boring questions known to man and to keep the conversation flowing and kept commenting on the food "oh this chicken is nice"

Then they had the awkward silence of, they had finished their food and now had nothing to talk about.

I then turned to my carnivore of a boyfriend, who had a plate full of chicken bones.

"Darren you have chicken all of your face"

"Natali, you've got food in your teeth"
Then we both laughed.
Darren told me where the chicken was hiding in my teeth and i wiped his face.

I laughed and though to myself, I am so glad I am past that "first date stage"

Nandos and any restaurant in general in my opinion are to be enjoyed with family, friends and long term partners. If you want to go on a date? How about a coffee shop. Sip on a hot drink, look cool and collected... well it worked for me (:

Have you had any first date disasters?

I would love to hear x

University...the best days of your life?

After finishing my first year at university, I've thought a lot about what people told me about university before I went. The common things I got told was:

"It's the best days of your life"
"Total Freedom"
"You can drink yourself into a coma!"


However no one ever told me that...


"Cooking everyday gets boring, you will order take out and you WILL get fat"


"If you go out, only take out as much money as you can afford...you WILL spend everything in your purse on drinks"


"Don't rush out and buy all the books on your suggested reading list, truth is you'll only look at half the books and would have wasted about £300"


An Uncomfortable Limbo


My own experience of university is that i was honestly so scared. I was like I HAVE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE and I'm leaving my boyfriend behind etc etc


It all worked itself out in the end, university does have its up's and it's down's.


However, when I'm at university:
 I miss the comfort of being home, knowing you don't have to worry about bills and knowing you get dinner made for you.


When I'm at home:
My family drive me crazy, now I can no longer sleep until 3pm, now I can't leave a pile of washing on the floor and I can't go out any time I want.

I am very much in a limbo situation.

What happens after university?

Is finishing a degree your rite of passage into adult hood?

Are you now expected to find a job, pay your bills and be an adult?

Am I honestly the only person who finds the prospect of working for someone else for the rest of my life such a depressing prospect?

Does a degree = success?

Honestly I don't think it does. In fact I think it holds you back. I went to university because I want to get a job and lead a "comfortable life"

Going to university creates the mindset that after you get a degree, you WORK for somebody else.

Not going to university creates the mindset that "if no one will hire me, I will make my own money"

The richest people of our generation didn't attend university, in fact they created multi-million pound companies and now HIRE University graduates.

Why do you go to University then?

I want security. Simple as. I want it all, I want to have my own business and not work for somebody else, but I want to have something to fall back on.

I also want to be taken seriously. Having a degree makes people listen to you, suddenly what you have to say is suddenly more important because you survived x amount of years at a university.

Another reason is, I do enjoy learning. I like to be surrounded my new people and when you do that, opportunities arise which you can take advantage of.

So what's your point?

Just because you didn't go to university, doesn't mean you are not successful, there is enough proof out there to suggest not going to university has the complete  opposite effect on you.


If you do go to university, don't settle. When you graduate keep your dreams in mind.

You don't want to be working for the same company for 15years, achieving all of their targets but never achieving any of your dreams. 

Being Mixed Race, Where Are You From Exactly?

Hey! This blog post is a follow up to my recent youtube video I uploaded x

This video really was just for fun, I think its great people are interested in where I'm from and it makes me laugh when they have no idea what my background is.

It's somewhat nice to know my facial features confuse the hell out of some people!

But in a sense having such a mixed background has been fun. I've been able to experience such different cultures and visit my family in different parts of the world.  

I think in a sense its weird that over the years more and more mixed race people are appearing , due to the fact of planes etc.

Honestly it wouldn't surprise me that in 200 years time we all end up the same colour. You can't be racist if you all look the same ;)

Racial Tension 

I've been blessed to never have experienced people being horrible to me because of my ethnicity. 

Only once when i was 7 I think, I boy told me to "go back to where you came from, you paki" to which i replied "I can't go home yet, my mums still at work"

Of course at that age I had no idea what he meant or what a "paki" was and I'm sure him being 7 as well must have just picked up that phrase from his family, and of course assuming anyone brown should be spoken to like that.

Accepting My Colour

Believe it or not, from a young age I have always wished i was a lighter colour. I think it must have been the fact that at school i was the "only brown girl" and it used to bother me a little bit. I used to ask my mum "mum how come your chocolate and daddy's white?"

When i was little i would have given anything to be a white, bright blued eyed blonde girl. 

I don't know why, in my family it was never mentioned that being brown was a bad thing, in fact being a different colour was like having different hair colours or eyes.


However...


I had a boyfriend at 14, and i remember not being able to meet his friends of family. The reason being? "oh they don't really like people like you...."


Looking back at it, I was stupid to be okay with that?
But in my mind, that was a valid reason not to meet me.

If anyone ever uses your outward appearance as a negative thing towards you, then just cut them out of your life. They are just sad people who see life in one shade.

What about now?

Now I  embrace my colour. I really do. I don't have to go tanning because I'm afraid my legs will look too white in a dress, I can wear bright colours without worrying about looking like a ghost and I don't ever get sunburnt!

I honestly believe that as you get older, you become more comfortable in your own skin. 

Beauty come in all shape,sizes and shades. 

Whatever your background, colouring or ethnicity just embrace it! 

Feed Shark x

Just ignore this x Hyper Smash

Disney Isn't The Same Anymore!

I don't know about you...but to me, Disney isn't the same any more :(

The above video is just me complaining about Disney, but don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of the Disney animation movies. 

My childhood was based around Disney. I had ALL the videos on VHS and I adore all of them. To this day I can watch the films and know all the songs off by heart.

I am a Disney child <3

Do you have any favourites?

I must say I prefer the princesses that had a mind of their own, Ariel, Mulan etc

Sleeping Beauty seemed a bit of a wet blanket to me... >.<

ANYWAY x

But do you know what made me laugh?

When you think about your perfect "man" you think, good job, kind etc etc

I was watching Mulan with my boyfriend && I put the subtitles on so I could sing along to the songs...

The song "I'll make a man out of you" came on, I was about to sing when my boyfriend was looking at his phone started singing along to the lyrics.

I  looked at him like :O

His reply was... "&& what? I'm a Disney child too, of course i know the lyrics"

At that moment I realised I was going to marry this man.

Aren't I sad? aha

***

Do you love Disney as much as me? 

Who's your favourite?

Trust me when I say, I AM interested ha

<3 xoxo

Friends Are Like Clothes...?

I don't know about you, but it seems to me the older you get, the more your friends fit into certain categories. 

You have those friends that...

you can go partying with && be mental with (but can't introduce to your parents)

you study with, knowing they're the top of the class and hoping you can steal some of their brain cells...
(but know they would be some what awkward in social situations)

your "couple mates" that you can always count on to go "double dating with"
(but always feel awkward when you bring your single friends along)

But to me, these "friend categories" remind a lot of different items of clothes.

If you can only wear certain items of clothes to different events, should the same  be said for friends?

 It got me thinking of, if my friends could be categorised into clothes, what item of clothes would they be?


So I came up with:

The Leggings --> Your Party Animal Friends

The Leggings

They make you feel fabulous when you wear them, suddenly these leggings pull you in, in all the right places && your bum looks amazing!


These are the friends that will try anything once and you end up going along with it. 
From wearing the highest heels to the biggest earrings. 


Pros
Great for taking on a night out && letting your hair down
Cons
Realising that your friendship status is based on how many drinks you buy them & have a sneaking suspicious that although wearing overall bright leggings is the "in thing"... is it really you?

Verdict

Sooner or later you realise no matter how much you love your "legging mates", being a party animal 24/7 isn't really you.

And anyway, leggings never look as great on you, as you actually think they you do..

What do you think? Am I crazy or do you agree that people can be related to different items of clothes? 


Comment && let me know xx